When You Are Always Asking and Have Nothing to Give

When we moved to the country, we had the desire to work and do everything ourselves.  It was part determination, part stubbornness and a lot due to the lack of money.  

We quickly learned that there were many things that we could not do.  Sometimes it was the lack of ability or expertise and sometimes it was the plain lack of resources.  When the bank account is dry, you have to be a little more creative.  

We worked to build friendships and relationships within our new community.  It wasn't long before we were getting things accomplished.  Sometimes we paid neighbors and friends to do things, sometimes we traded labor, and sometimes they just felt sorry for us.

Did we take advantage of people?  Probably.  We felt like we were always asking but didn't have anything that we could give them to return the favor.

So what do you do when you have nothing to give in return?

• Always, always, always say "Thank You."  Two little words that may feel like a cliche, but if not spoken, is always taken in offense.  
• Ask if there is anything that you can do for them.  They will usually say no, but always leave the offer open to them.  Remember...it is the thought that counts.
• Bake a special treat.  I don't know anyone that doesn't like to eat.  Our neighbor is especially fond of my cinnamon rolls.  He is more than willing to bring the skid steer over to clean out the barn when he has been craving cinnamon rolls. 
• If you notice that someone is in an especially busy season, offer to make dinner some night just to give them time to get one extra thing done or a few extra minutes of rest.  What I wouldn't give for someone to show up with dinner after a long day of baling hay.  
• Offer to babysit the kids, take in the mail while they are on vacation, water the plants while they are gone.  Get creative.
• What special talents or abilities do you have?  Daniel's day job is in heating and cooling.  He has been know to fix a neighbor's heat on Christmas day.  Can you sew?  Offer to patch the knee on someone's worn out Carhartts. 
• If you borrow something, give it back in better condition than when you received it.  If you borrow a trailer...power wash it when you are done.  If your mower broke and you have to borrow the neighbor's...give it back with a full tank of gas.

Remember that this is just a season in your life.  Over time, you will collect equipment and gain expertise.  At some point you will be the one that is helping someone else.  You will be the one to say "don't worry about it.  I was there once too."